After find out we lost our baby, I poured into research of what might be helpful. I looked through all kinds of information, says, and symbolism. I decided that I really wanted a necklace. I was on a search for a necklace that had a lot of meaning, but wasn’t so obvious. I had clients, and I don’t want them to ask about it because it wouldn’t be appropriate to self disclose that information. Nothing really felt right or stood out.
I did finally pick a necklace after a lot of searching. It felt meaningful. The necklace came with a card that said “a piece of my heart has wings.” That was important for me. The necklace is in the shape of a heart and on one side the heart is made up of a single wing. The description said it could be for losses, not just a miscarriage. I planned that if anyone asked about it that I didn’t want to explain that I could just say that I lost someone close to me.
It was actually really a strange feeling when the necklace arrived. I felt weird about wearing it. I surprised myself to see it in the mirror when I walked by. In some ways it felt important, but in other ways it just felt strange. I guess I don’t really know how to describe that feeling.
I was surprised that no one commented on the necklace even if they knew about the miscarriage. I think I’m learning to take it as apart of me. That this jewelry symbolizes my child in some way. It’s okay that no one else recognizes that. In a lot of ways others don’t recognize my child like I do anyway. So it’s okay. Now this jewelry allows me to carry him with me. He has become apart of me. I like that some. I’ll continue to wear the necklace. I’ll continue to carry him with me. I will find some small bit of comfort in knowing that.